47 seconds
by PolishCaskettShipper
Summary: I know that probably everyone are sick of all stories about this episode but I couldn't resist myself and I did one myself too. I hope you like it.
1. I remember every second of it

**Author's note:** I know that probably everyone are sick of all stories about this episode but I couldn't resist myself and I did one myself too. I hope you like it. I don't know how you guys holding up but I'm so terrified and excited for next Monday. I'm rather very unemotional but I swear that I'm going to cry during this episode...

I'm not English or American so I'm really sorry for all mistakes.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Castle. I envy you, Marlowe...

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><p><strong>47 seconds<strong>

**Chapter 1**

"You got him? Where is Beckett?" Castle stormed through bullpen towards two male detectives. He was holding two cups of coffee, as usual. Well, except that he was 2 hours late…

"Yeah, we got him. Beckett's interrogate him right now. She said that she can't wait for you… Where were you?" Ryan answered.

"Oh… She was mad?" Writer asked stressed skipping Kevin's question.

"How do you think? She didn't get her morning caffeine jab… You know how ratty she gets then, bro…" Esposito groused.

He was late because of Alexis. She had made pancakes and had insisted that he have to tasted them. Castle had been already late and he had known that Beckett will be angry, cause they have hard case now, but how he could refused his daughter? Pancakes had been delicious and he had lost track of time while he had been chatting up and laughing with Alexis. When he had looked at his Rolex and saw the time… In two minutes he had been already on his way to 12th.

"Oh, yeah… Well, I guess I'll go to the observation room then. I don't want to intrude her." Castle said and went towards right door.

She was mad, furious actually, he could tell. But how she could not be? This case… Awful thing. The bomb blew up during some pacific demonstration. 12 people had died. 25 had been hard injured. They hadn't had any leads. Till yesterday. Actually till today, cause they had hunted out useful information about 2 in the morning. They had planned dragged their suspect in the morning. That all had been enough to get her angry. Why had he must been late today! Beckett sat on the table beside her suspect. She was killing him with her eyes. _God, she is so sexy when she's mad…_Castle thought. Now writer focused on the man. Boy actually. He didn't look like terrorist. He was scared and Castle could said that he's lost in this situation.

"Why did you plant that bomb?" She asked angrily.

"I don't remember!" Boy cried out. Castle saw how Kate's rage was increasing with every second. He was sure that she wouldn't be able to control herself any longer.

"I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it! So don't tell me that you don't remember!" Detective shouted at him.

Castle's world stopped. "You remembered?" He muttered to empty room. For a second he considered that she's lying. But only for a second. He has been working with her for 4 years. He knows when she's lying. Now, she's not. His heart literally ached. How she could do something like that to him! She has been lying to him all this time… Almost a year… He would do everything to her, everything… And she betrayed him… _I was such a fool…_ Castle thought. He must get out of here. He stormed out of the observation room and started to direct towards the elevator. He stopped by Beckett's desk to get his jacket.

"Finally! Where have you been?" Kate sighed going out of the interrogation room. He stirred. He couldn't talk to her. Not right now. "Hey, I asked you a question… Hello?" She got to the desk and lightly bump his arm with hers. Castle almost shivered with disgust. She made him sick right now.

"Sorry, I had to stay at home. Mother's not feeling very well. Actually, I was thinking if you could manage this case without me? She needs me more now…" He said lying the best he could.

"Oh, what happened? Martha always looks so full of energy… Of course you should go to her! Don't worry about the case. Your mom is more important. Go and tell her to get well soon from me." Beckett said and smiled warm at him.

"Yeah, thanks. I should get going then… Bye…" He said drily and not waiting for any response went to the elevator. When door was closing he looked at her once again. Maybe the last time, cause he didn't know if he will be able to get over her lie. In the same time, Beckett got herself ready to head out too.

"Yo, where are you going?" Esposito asked walking towards her.

"I'm heading to check our suspect alibi. I won't be long." Kate answered buttoning up her coat.

"Did you talk to Castle? He was going to the observation room when we last see him."

"Yeah I talk to him… Martha's sick, he went home to take care of her…" Beckett said and then Javi's words hit her. _He was in the observation room while I… Oh my god…_

"Beckett, everything all right?" Ryan asked with concern adjoining two detectives. "You turned pale…"

"Yeah… I… I should go…" She answered blindly.

Boys noticed that she wasn't herself and they were nearly sure that it had something in common with Castle.

"Listen, maybe we'll go check this out and you'll stay here and wait for us. Hm?" Ryan asked with concern.

"Yeah, that's a good plan, bro." Esposito said. "We'll be back in an hour boss."

When boys disappeared, Beckett sat heavily in her chair. She was terrified. He had heard her for sure. Martha probably didn't even have a headache. He had gone because of her lie. That's way he had been so out. Kate wanted to kill herself. She was so stupid! Her heart stopped when she realized that she lost him. And she get even more horrified when she thought that this time, she could lost him for good. Suddenly she knew that she have to do something. Beckett pulled out her phone and instantly chose his number. He didn't answer. She wasn't surprise. Rapidly detective didn't care about case. Selfish, yes. But she didn't thought about it. In 15 minutes she fetched up in front of his door. Her heart was beating like bunch of horses. She knocked, frightened what will be going on now. The door opened and Kate suddenly found herself in a breathtaking hug.

"Kate! Oh darling! How nice you stop by! Please, come in!" The oldest of Castle smiled at her warm, dragging her inside the loft. Of course she was the picture of health.

"Hello Martha… Is Castle there?"

"I'm…" She heard his voice and stiffened. One look on her face and Castle knew that she wasn't here because of case. She knew that he knew… Martha must fell this tense between them cause she excused herself quickly.

"Rick…" Beckett started but Castle cut her off.

"Beckett I don't want to talk right now… You should leave, now…" He said. His voice calm and cold.

"Castle… Please you must hear me out…" She muttered, tears running down her face.

"When you asked me for time and space I respected this. Now I'm asking you to give me time, Kate. And I'm expecting you to honored my request. "

"Rick…" Beckett cried out.

"Goodbye Detective…" He said and disappeared behind study doors. She didn't know what to do so she ran out of his loft sobbing.

As soon as she went away, Martha rushed towards Castle's study. "For God sake, Richard! Why were you like this to her!"

"She knew, Mother. She remember the shooting… Everything! She remember everything!" Rick cried out in tantrum.

"Oh my…" Martha didn't know what to say… But one thing she knew for sure. Kate hadn't wanted to hurt him. She had done this because she had a reason… "She lied to you… Well, everybody lies, son. You should know it. Don't forget that you have a secret as well…"

"I know Mother, but I'm doing this because I don't want her to get hurt!"

"I know, but maybe she did this because of the same reason?"

"So, you're saying that what? She didn't want to hurt me? Hurt me how?" He asked angrily. "Oh, you're saying that she didn't want to hurt me by saying that she doesn't love me, aren't you?"

"For God Sake, Richard! This woman is madly in love in you! Even sightless can see this! I'm saying that you should give her opportunity to explain herself…" Martha concluded.

"Maybe… I can't think about this now… I have to get drunk myself." Castle said reaching for bottle of Scotch.

"Richard! That's not a good idea!"

"Mother please… I can't stand thinking about it now… I haven't been drunk for a long time but now, I need this…" He said desperately. Martha only shook her head and walked out the room. Castle sat emotionless at his desk and locked his eyes on the picture of his friends. Captain Montgomery, Esposito, Ryan, Beckett and himself were smiling at him. They all looked so happy. This felicity seemed so distant for him right now. All he could feel were betrayal, sorrow and fire of alcohol running through his veins.

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><p><strong>Author's note:<strong> So... This is it. What do you think? I would be grateful for any review!


	2. Girl talk

**So... I wanted this fanfic to be a oneshot, but I couldn't resist myself and I wrote next chapter. ^^ I don't know if I wrote Lanie's parts right. I'm really sorry if I didn't. **

**I hope you like it!**

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><p><strong>47 seconds<strong>

**Chapter 2**

Beckett after she had gone out of Castle's, she had gone to precinct. She blindly had solved the bomb case with Ryan's and Esposito's help. Boys had seen that something is wrong, but they had been too scared to ask her… Castle's phone hadn't answered. When she finally had done paperwork, Kate had asked Gates for day off. Captain had been surprised but she'd agreed.

Now, Beckett sat on the couch in her apartment. She's been crying for almost all night. She only sat blindly looking into space. She looked at the clock, 9:17. It's about time when Castle usually shows up at the 12th. He brings her coffee and his joy, which she needs so much. How could I done something like that to him! He would take a bullet for me and I hurt him so much… She started to cry harder. Because of rough sobs, Kate couldn't catch a breath. She was aching psychologically and physically. She hadn't wanted to hurt him… She had been so close to admit her feelings, admit that she's ready, that she wants to give them a chance… But she had must screw it up… She should had known that he'd could be in observation room… She shouldn't brought this whole thing during the interrogation! And what's the most important, she shouldn't had been lying to him since the beginning…

Someone knocked at the front door. She got up and sprinted towards the door. Maybe it's him! Kate thought, but when she opened the door she saw a concern face of her best friend. Lanie Parish looked at her with question in her eyes.

"Girl, spill it out! What happened!" ME asked.

Kate sobbed and got back on the couch. Lanie followed her. Beckett couldn't stop the tears and her sobs getting harder with every second. The other woman was horrified and extremely curious. Through all this time since she's known Kate, she's not seen her in such a mess. She carefully put her hand on Detective's back and caressed it gently.

"What happened, honey? What did he do?"

"I betrayed him…" Kate managed to whisper.

"Betrayed? How so?"

"I lied to him…"

"Oh girl, I'm sure he'll forgive you. You know that he…" Doctor started but she was cut out.

"He's gone! I'm such a monster, Lanie! I've been lying to him for all this time! I've been lying to everyone!" Beckett cried out.

"Calm down, honey… Take a deep breath and tell me what you've been lying about?" ME asked calmly but inside she's dying from curiosity.

"About the shooting…" Kate muttered. She lifted her eyes at her friend, tears running down her pale face. "I remember everything. I always do…"

"Oh…"

"I'm so sorry Lanie… But it was easier to say that I don't remember and…" She couldn't finished cause Lanie pulled her in a comforting hug.

"It's ok, girl. I understand… Really, it's going to be okay. Castle's going to forgive you too. He just needs time, I guess…"

"No… You don't know the worst part." Beckett started to cry again.

"Well? Tell me then!"

"He… He told me… When he got to me after the shoot… He begged me to stay with him and… He told me he loves me, Lanie…" Dr Parish inhaled deeply. She didn't expected this. "And I've been lying to him that I don't remember since the shooting…"

"Oh my…" ME was speechless. She didn't know what to say. Lanie wanted to cheer her friend up but she knew that what Kate had done was wrong. Awfully wrong.

"Lanie… Tell me that it's going to be ok… Tell me that he'll forgive me… Cause I don't know how to live without him by my side…" Detective whispered.

"As your friend, I'll be honest with you. I can't tell you, it's going to be ok. I can't, cause I don't know that. What you did to him was awful… And I'm not surprised that he's gone now… Well, this man followed you like faithful dog. He'd do anything for you…"

"I know that Lanie, but…"

"No, girl… No buts… I know you're scared. Don't try to deny! But you can't be on your own your entire life! You have to accept the fact that beside you are people who cared about you, who love you!"

"Lanie… I don't deserve this… I'm broken… I'm damaged… I…"

"Well, maybe you're right, girl… But no one is perfect! For God's sake! You think that he sees only this 'tough detective' side in you? You think that's what Castle loves in you? I don't think so… You have to let him in, if you want him around, cause that, what was before between you two… It's never come back, girl."

"What am I suppose to do?" Kate chocked out.

"You have to fight, sweetie! Fight for him. This time he won't come back if you won't do something…"

"He told me to give him some time…"

"Yeah, right… Let me ask you one question. When you asked him to give you time in hospital, did you really want it?"

"No…"

"So… What are you doing here? Go and talk to him!" Lanie stood up and dragged Kate towards the front door.

"Wait, Lanie! I can't… I…" Beckett started but ME cut Her off.

"No, Kate! You can and you will! Come on, we have to change your clothes and cover this awful shadows under your eyes."

"Lanie…"

"Oh, girl! Stop it! You are one of the finest detective in New York and you're afraid of Castle? Come on, he's you best friend and yes, he's mad at you, but you'll do everything what's in your power to get him back, right?"

"What if he don't want to know me anymore?" Beckett whispered painfully.

"Oh sweetie! Imma smack you! I've never seen this kind of relationship as between you two. This man is madly in love with you. He's hurt now, but when you two talk and explain everything to each other, he'll forgive you… You just have to be completely honest with him, you know. And I mean it, Kate. Completely!"

"Lanie… What would I do without you? Thanks… I owe you so much! " Beckett said shyly and hugged her friend.

"Yeah, yeah… I want only one thing. When you two finally do THIS, I wanna know the details!" ME said totally serious.

"Lanie!" Kate blushed.

"What, like you said… You owe me…"

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><p><strong>And... What do you think? I would be really, really grateful for reviews. I'd be happy with even 'one word review' simply good or bad! Thanks! ;d<strong>


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